Our lovely son is a very complicated little man.
On the surface he is very vague, spacey even and a lot seems to sweep way over his head. But other times you see the eagle eye and the deep pool of thought that is hiding behind that nebulous surface.
I was typing away the other day and he caught a glimpse of the blog. ‘Am I on there? Am I raised by Wolffs?’
I explained that I don’t put much of him or his sister on here being that they are older and I want to respect their privacy.
‘I don’t mind’ says the Aquaman.* Which means, why aren’t I on there?
It’s quite cute that both he and his sister often don’t ask directly for what they want, watching them skirt around the issue is the by product of waspish patterns handed down from generations before. It also something I’m trying to change, I want my children to be upfront, but not rude or hurtful. I want them to find that balance between thinking of themselves and not being selfish. I want them to be able to speak up and make sure the people in their lives treat them in the manner they deserve to be treated. In the hope at the very least that those little wounds we let others inflict on us don’t fester and brew into long term bitterness.
We’re not there yet as Aquaman’s post on my Facebook wall the other day showed.
yes this is how chocolate bear was lost, he died from one thats twice as big and was incinerated to nothing, i mean why else do i still sleep with teddy bears, i have like 3 in my room, ok thats it i need back up!!! i need one like that one or maybe one like chocolate bear
It broke my heart a little. Chocolate bear was his bear from birth, we took him everywhere through moving house and moving across four states, to Cambodia via Malaysia and he was never too far out of sight.
Unfortunately on a trip to Kangaroo Island with his dad and partner he was lost.
A couple of hours drive somehow a bear that had successfully travelled internationally was lost.
Aquaman took it well and was philosophical about the loss, which was around two years ago now. But as the facebook storytelling goes the loss is still sitting in there. Sure we could shrug it off as the loss of a toy, but some toys are more than the sum of their stuffy parts.
To someone else Chocolate bear is probably a little over worn and not particularly interesting bear, to us he was a constant in some very turbulent years.
We’ve tried to find another from the same brand (Apollo) or at least similar. I even made sure I checked in FAO Schwartz in New York and The Vermont Teddy Bear Factory when we were there. But as Aquaman has said ‘you can’t get another Chocolate Bear’.
So instead I guess we continue to work with what might be a small loss to some and build a mythology of a brave monster slaying bear to comfort the Aquamans’ continued sense of loss.
*I refer to our boy as Aquaman not because of an affinity for water, or the ability to telepathically communicate with marine life, but rather the fact that he can talk non-stop seemingly without breath and I assume based on this his ability to talk underwater.